


I Traded Brick for Straw In The House I Built Around My Heart

by commanderclock



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Looks Like Fluff Actually Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 12:03:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7360699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commanderclock/pseuds/commanderclock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The post-high school AU oneshot where Clarke and Lexa go back to high school for a night and try to remember something they never really lost.</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>The Alternative HSAU inspired by shitty pop punk/punk rock music and all those teen angst feelings coming back to you as a 20 something</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Traded Brick for Straw In The House I Built Around My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This oneshot was written to "Landing Feet First" by Bayside and I highly recommend listening to it. Thanks for reading!
> 
> You can find me at commanderclock.tumblr.com

Lexa can’t believe she’s here again. It’s been four years since she’s seen this town and even longer since she saw her old high school. She pulls her car into one of the many empty spots in the lot and turns off the ignition. It’s not like she has bad memories of high school. They were good. She got good grades. She had friends. She had fun.

And there was always Clarke.

Was.

In the end, high school was just a stepping stone for her, just a place for her to get from point A to point B. Point A being the suburban wasteland where she spent the majority of her adolescence and point B being anywhere else. In the few times she forgot about this fact Anya was always there to remind her.

_You’re better than this bumfuck town Lexa. Don’t let any of your little friends and that high school drama make you think otherwise._

And like usual Anya was always right. Her parents had sent her there for a reason and it wasn’t so she could get caught up in the stereotypical high school antics. Being the only daughter of one of the most influential and wealthy couples in California had its perks and with perks came distractions. It was those—or mainly one particular distraction that sent Lexa packing on a one-way trip to live with their closest family friend. Her parents figured Anya would keep her in line and make sure she finished all four years with outstanding professor recommendations, a glowing GPA, and admission letters to at least three different Ivys. Friends were okay but not necessary and Clarke was definitely never a part of anyone’s plan.

While Lexa was stuck on Anya’s strict study schedules, Clarke Griffin got by with the whole school wrapped around her pinky finger. Lexa never really understood how she did it but she knew Clarke knew people better than they knew themselves. Professors, security guards, senior boys, Clarke could work them all with a smile and a brush of her hair. Failing grades turned into passing and detentions were reduced and then simply disappeared. Lexa was no exception to this rule whether Clarke intended it or not.

Clarke lived and breathed the best parts of suburbia and wore it like the high school letterman jacket draped around her shoulders. She was the cold chill air as they spray painted the back wall of the gym, the twinkling christmas lights in an empty basement after party, the cushioned darkness as they drove home through empty back streets. 

She sighs as old forgotten memories slowly start to cloud her brain. She remembers warm hazy afternoons spent in Clarke’s room complaining about math homework and boys. Well. Clarke complained about boys. Lexa listened intently, ignoring the way Clarke’s hair reflected the sun as it fell in her face and the way Clarke’s hand would absentmindedly come up to brush it out of the way thinking all girls looked at their best friends this way.

Clarke made Lexa want to stay in that little town forever and that scared Lexa more than anything else in the world.

Her phone buzzes next to her.

_“Are you here yet?”_

She’s surprised at the sudden anxiety that starts to set in, quickly swallowing to force the memory back down.

_“Yes just parking.”_

Taking a deep breath, she steps out of the car and makes her way towards the football field. School has been out for weeks and it’s deserted like she expected it would be. The air is crisp and it helps her clear her head as she reminds herself that as real as the memory felt, it’s been years since she’s actually seen Clarke. They’d promised each other the things you promise when you’re 16 and all that mattered was whose house they were going to sleep at and what beads they wanted to put in their friendship bracelets. When you spend most nights cruising around in your best friend’s car screaming out the lyrics to whatever song is on the radio thinking this is it. This is what life is about. This is what happiness feels like and things like this never end.

Until they do.

There had been so many excuses. First it was college and then it was grad school and somehow they ended up with more excuses not to see each other than reasons they should at all. Lexa became Lexa again and Clarke stayed Clarke. If anything their friendship had been an exception in and of itself. If it wasn’t for that lottery partner system in biology, she would have never crossed paths with Clarke Griffin at all.

She steps onto the damp grass of the end zone and her eyes scan the field like they have a thousand times on a thousand different other nights. There’s a green car in the middle of the field and a woman sitting on the hood, casually reaching for a can out of the six-pack next to her. She leans back on her forearms and looks up at the sky as she takes a sip and suddenly Lexa is seventeen again.

_She’s seventeen and Clarke is eighteen and it’s the night of their prom and Clarke’s hair is falling out of the insane amount of bobby pins she’d painstakingly positioned just three hours before. She’s seventeen and Clarke is her best friend in the entire world and they’re a little tipsy off the vodka they stole from Clarke’s parent’s liquor cabinet. Her eyes are hazy and her cheeks are warm and she’s following Clarke out onto the football field and Clarke is laughing and spinning around, dancing to the muffled music coming from the dance they just abandoned. Lexa blinks and Clarke is lying on the ground next to her, eyes following her lips and hands reaching up to cup her face. Lexa’s cheek is wet from the damp grass but she doesn’t move and all she can see is the dark blue of Clarke’s eyes and all she can feel are Clarke’s fingers on her cheek, swiping across her bottom lip. Clarke is talking but Lexa can barely hear her. Not when she’s this close and her eyes are looking at Lexa like they’re searching for forever._

_“Promise me.”_

_"I promise.”_

_Lexa is seventeen and she thinks she’d promise Clarke the world if she asked._

 

+

 

Clarke doesn’t stir from her position as Lexa approaches and at first Lexa doesn’t think she even knows she’s there. She stands awkwardly for a moment and watches Clarke closely, thinking that maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all. Clarke looks more or less the same but there’s something about her that’s different. She can’t tell what it is yet and she thinks for a moment that maybe it’s not Clarke who’s changed. 

“You’re late,” Clarke’s voice is quiet and all too familiar as she sets her can down.

Lexa sighs and pushes the hair out of her face, “I know, I got stuck at work.”

She leans on the side of the car and crosses her arms, hoping that time has lessened Clarke’s ability to catch her in a lie. Yes she was late but it was more because she spent half an hour in the parking lot at work trying to come up with excuses not to meet Clarke tonight. Clarke still hasn’t looked at her yet and a couple more moments of silence pass. It’s beautiful out but the silence is too empty and uncomfortable and Lexa clears her throat.

“Why did you want to meet here?”

Clarke shrugs and finally breaks away from the sky, “It’s been a while. I guess I just got nostalgic.” She looks at Lexa curiously, gauging her reaction before a small soft smile reaches her lips, “Work is a lame excuse by the way. Good to see you’re not any better at lying either.”

Lexa frowns, “Some people have things to do, Clarke.”  
  
Clarke scoffs lightly, “Right and some people have things to do _and_ know how to be on time.” She gets up and makes her way towards the side of the car, leaning into the open window and reaching for something inside. The car starts up and Lexa hears static at first as Clarke connects the auxiliary cord to her phone before turning back to her. A familiar song starts playing and Lexa smiles, “I’d rather be a bad liar than have the same shitty music taste I had in high school.”

“I told you I was nostalgic and don’t pretend you don’t love this song,” Clarke grins as she hops back onto the hood of the car resuming her position before turning to Lexa, “Are you coming up or do you have other things to do?”  

Lexa narrows her eyes but Clarke’s expression is only slightly smug and mostly soft and she climbs onto the hood next to her. She ignores the way Clarke’s shirt rides up her stomach a little and is careful not to brush too closely against her. Leaning back onto her arms she finally joins Clarke’s gaze and looks up at the sky. It’s stunning really and Lexa exhales at the beauty of it all. After years of city life, Lexa forgot what night looked like. She tells herself daily that no city is better than New York but she forgot how bright the stars could be when fluorescent billboards and neon lights didn’t block them out.

“I’m glad you came you know,” Clarke murmurs and her voice sounds careful and guarded despite her words.

“Of course I came,” Lexa nods but the words sound hollow as she thinks of all the times she didn’t come.

The song ends and there’s a moment of silence. Clarke’s breathing is even and slow and Lexa hates that her heart speeds up just listening to it.

“Do you remember prom night?”

Lexa closes her eyes and smiles, “How could I forget? You threw up all over me and ruined my dress.”

Clarke laughs and Lexa can’t remember the last time she heard that laugh, “Okay but that wasn’t my fault. It was your idea to split a whole bottle of vodka.”

“Yeah but it was your idea to steal it in the first place,” Lexa replies with a small grin.

Clarke sighs and for a moment she looks content. She rolls over on her side to face Lexa, her face calm but guarded again.

“But do you remember before that?”

Lexa turns to face her, “What do you mean?”

“I mean before I threw up,” Clarke looks down at her hands, worried, “When we were on the football field?”

Lexa remembers Clarke in a red dress, her blonde hair falling around her shoulders, spinning around the field to the muffled sounds of bass in the distance. Lexa remembers blue eyes and soft hands and curious fingers. She remembers Clarke smelling faintly like coconut shampoo and a lot like cheap vodka. She doesn’t know which of these memories Clarke is referring to because they’d always been just her memories. Clarke had told her the next day that she didn’t remember anything after they left the dance and Lexa believed her.

Her voice comes out quieter than she expects it, “I thought you said you didn’t remember anything?”

Clarke’s eyes meet hers and she smiles sheepishly, “I’ve always been a better liar than you are.” She looks back down at the hood of the car, tracing vague patterns on its surface as if trying to find the right words to say.

Lexa hates that time has made them hesitant like strangers.

“Do you remember what you promised me?”

Lexa frowns as her eyes flick up to meet Clarke’s because that is the only thing she doesn’t remember about that night. She sighs, “I honestly don’t remember Clarke, it was nearly six years ago and you weren’t the only one who had a lot to drink.”

Clarke looks up from the hood and slowly nods, “You’re right. It was a dumb question.” She lies back down on the car with her arms behind her head. She looks disappointed and discouraged and vulnerable and Lexa doesn’t know why.

She stares at her not quite sure how to respond before asking her own question, “Clarke, why did you want to meet tonight?”

Clarke’s eyebrows are scrunched together and her mouth is set in a tight line. Lexa thinks she looks worried or maybe it isn’t worry at all. Lexa thinks it could be regret.

Clarke turns away and Lexa misses the words as the song behind them cuts into a loud guitar solo.

“Wait, what?” Lexa is sitting up now. Clearly, Clarke remembered more of that night than she let on. Maybe Lexa wasn’t the only one replaying it in her mind, thinking of what could have been if they had only been brave. If she had only been brave.

Clarke turns back around catching Lexa’s gaze. Her eyes are swimming and Lexa doesn’t know what it all means. The space between them is too much and Lexa resists the urge to reach out towards Clarke, to touch her face, to make whatever it is better because that’s what best friends do. That’s what best friends did.

Clarke finally speaks and it’s barely a whisper, “I’m getting married, Lexa. I want you to be my maid of honor.”

Lexa is 23 and she **_knows_** she’d still promise Clarke the whole world if she asked. She just never thought it’d be a world without her in it.


End file.
